Dark Comedy
by kittykiss1514
Summary: In this fanfic Joker and Harley has had a fight. A bad one. Joker and her has been at brawl for a couple months, finally she commits suicide. After he buries the body of Harley he gets taken to Arkham. For a week he stayed there, until a new girl comes, who is twice as pretty as Harls.
1. Chapter 1

Dark Comedy

Chapter One

The sirens banged against her eardrums as she sat on the cold concrete, she hugged her knees and hung her head down so she couldn't see anyone. her eyes looked up to see a man dressed as a bat fly away.

'Why am I always the victim?'

She looked at her hands that were now cuffed and bloody.

"They don't understand..."

Imagine: You are in a dark alley; bruised and beaten; crumpled on the ground in defeat. You are being put in a car, having no idea of who these people are, until you black out...

She woke up, in a place filled with screaming, laughing, and crying people. She huddled in a corner away from everyone, then a bunch of people started walking to these rooms. They all looked...strange.

One man had scales and a tail like a crocodile; another man had half of his face burnt off and the other was clean; one woman had light green skin and beautiful red hair; another person looked like a small girl with blonde curly hair; then a man with pale white skin, green hair, and red lips that was shaped in the most sinister grin a human being could lay eyes onto. She continued to back away into the corner as she noticed the smiling man coming towards her. He stopped at the door, then it opened. Uh oh.

"Lookie what the bat dragged in." The smiling man said to her as he walked into the room. He didn't look as scary close up, but he was still creepy. "What's your name kiddo?" His smile widened as he asked.

"Nevermore."

"Pretty, now what are you in for?" He asked, not really caring for her name.

"I don't know..." She said, rubbing a bump on her head, "I can't seem to remember."

"The bat must of beaten you pretty bad." He said in a fake Australian accent, she smiled a little. "Hey look! I found your smile!" He said, laughing loudly. It made her a tad uncomfortable, but she still smiled feeling like she made a friend.

"What's your name?" She asked, a small gentle voice came from the black stained lips. He looked up at her and started to walk to his bed.

"People call me Joker." He said, chuckling a bit. Go figure.

"Oh...so when will I be able to leave?"

"Till you're sane." He said dully as he laid on the bed, picking what looked like a piece of broccoli from his teeth.

This answer confused her, "Sane?"

"You seriously are weird...I like that." He said grinning wider. She smiled nervously and sat on the other bed. 'Pretty girl is sitting across the room from me. Not next to me. Joker not happy about that.' He thought through clenched teeth. His eyes trailed along her body. 'So many curves...too bad they're all covered up in those rags.' He stared at the ceiling with a grin.

"What time is it?" She asked looking at him.

"Seven forty-five." He said glancing at the clock, "You're lucky."

"Why?"

"You missed dinner." He chuckled, he heard a small giggle come from her and he smiled at her, she smiled back.


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Comedy

Chapter Two

Month One

"Wake up freaks!"

She woke up to a screaming man and she closed her eyes again, just to be shook by a laughing man. "Wake up Never! Wake up!" He yelled laughing, "It's Christmas!"

"I'm up, I'm up..." She said opening her eyes, "it's not really Christmas is it?"

"Nope."

"Don't joke about Christmas..." She muttered, earning a small giggle from Joker.

"C'mon it's breakfast time!" He said jumping off her bed, then walked to the door. She dragged herself out of her bed, "Y'know the day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve."

"Really?" She asked, turning to him with a curious look.

He nodded, "They got a lot of decor in the...um..."

"Dinor room?" She said with a French accent. He nodded and smiled. The guard cuffed their hands and joker started singing Christmas carols. Everyone yelled at him to shut up, that just made him laugh and laugh. They went to the dining room and Joker grabbed her hand and dragged her to the front of the line, he cutting everyone making some people whine.

"Well, well, well, Joker gots a new girl." Harvey Dent sneered. "And you met her in Arkham too."

"Shut up." Joker growled, "or you'll have a pretty smile like mine."

"Geez Harv is that how you treat a lovely girl?" A red headed man said walking up to her, "Edward E. Nigma, and your name is?"

"Nevermore." She answered, getting her food and moving up in line.

"Sounds gothic, why are hanging out with a guy like Joker?" Harvey asked, giving Joker a glare.

"She's my cellmate." He said dully, getting his food. He noticed then child looking girl walk up to Nevermore, he rolled his eyes.

"Hi miss, my name's Baby." She said smiling politely, Never looked at her and smiled.

"Well hello, my name is Nevermore." She said smiling back.

"That's a pretty name." She said smiling.

"Why thank you." She smiled, she noticed Joker getting into an argument with the others and she went out of line and sat alone at a table.

"Why are you sitting alone?" A beautiful red head asked.

"Baby is still in there." She answered.

"You mean Mary Dhal?"

"Whatever..."

"I heard you are joker's new cellmate." She said crossing her arms. "Has he done anything to you yet?"

Nevermore almost spit out her orange juice, "What?"

"Most of the men here are just complete perverts." She said irritatedly.

"Oh ok..." She said taking a sip of her juice.

"I'm Ivy." She said batting her eyelashes a little bit, showing off her emerald green eyes. "I believe your name is Nevermore?" She nodded. "You have such a lovely name."

"Thank you..." She said nervously, she never had another female flirt with her before.

"You seem nervous around me, don't worry, I don't bite hard." A smirk played across Ivy's lips and Nevermore blushed a little.

"Oh lookie here, I forgot my weed killer." Joker growled, taking a seat next to Nevermore, "Was you flirting with Never, Pam?"

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't clown..." Ivy growled.

"Ain't you with Harvey?"

"We spilt up." Harvey said walking to the table, with Edward following.

"I guess you and Edward make a better couple than me and you." Ivy said smiling.

"I guess we are both going bi..." He growled under his breath, Never glanced at Ivy, who's face was getting red with anger.

"Ok everyone! Back to your cells!" The guard yelled, everyone got up and went back to their cells.

"Sorry about Ivy, she can be a real...well y'know..a bitch." Joker muttered.

"Yeah, why was she flirting with me?" Nevermore asked, glancing at Joker.

"She has some grudge against men." He said, "she's a weirdo."

"Mhm..." She said as she looked at the small radio on the nightstand, she started to turn the dial a lil to turn on death metal music.

"What is that?!" Joker yelled, covering his ears.

"Death metal, I like it a lot." She answered smiling widely, she started to sing along to the song, waving her hips a little.

'At least she's smiling, and I like that little dance...' Joker thought, smiling wider than ever as he went to the bed.

"I'm stuck in the mess you've made,

I've got a sinking feeling,

I solve through the words you say,

And the secrets you've been keeping,

It's written upon your face,

All your lies cut so deeply,

You can't get enough,

You take and take and take,

And never say,

No~!" She started to sing along to the song, she stopped whenever she heard the other people yelling at her to shut up and all. She turned it off, then huffed.

"What?" He asked looking at her curiously.

"I liked that song."

He face palmed, "Duh, I should have known."

"I got a question."

"What?"

"Is Harvey and Ed...well y'know...'together'?"

"No, well yes. Them two are cellmates and Eddy follows Harv like a lost puppy, and they are rumored to...um...do things in their cell." He explained, earning a discussed look from her. "We'll go to rec. in about an hour. So I'm taking a nap."

"Happy sleeping." Se said as she saw him go to the bed and practically passed out.

About One Hour Later

"Rec. Time!"

Joker started to freak out, "I didn't do it!"

"Do what?" She asked, getting out of her bed.

"Oh...um...nothing." He said getting up and dusting off the imaginary dust from his orange Arkham jumpsuit.

"C'mon, it's rec. time" Nevermore said smiling.

They were cuffed and escorted to the recreation room. "Welcome to boredom!" Joker said spreading out his arms and smiling.

"Awesome, care to give me a tour?" She asked him, he nodded and they walked around the rec. area.

He stopped at a table with crayons, different colored papers, and scissors you would see in a daycare center, "The arts and crafts center." Joker declared in a loud voice. They walked over to a TV and couch, "The TV center." They walked over to a place that had a bookshelf, beanbags, a doll house, a box of toys, and a chess table. Joker tried to pronounce this but failed, "Musc...mesc...misc?" They went over to a place with weight lifting things, treadmills, and other exercise equipment, "Exercise stuff." He went outside that had a garden, a couple of oak trees, a small creek, and playground like area. "Last, but not least: Outside!"

"Cool."

"Hell yeah it's cool!" He yelled, "oh who am I kidding? It sucks."


	3. Chapter 3

Dark Comedy

Chapter Three

Nevermore's Point of View

"Rec. time!" The guard yelled outside my cell. Goddamn it, I hate this place!

"Come on Never." Joker said irritatedly, he won't tell me why he's gloomy today.

"Joker what's wrong?" I asked him, he looked down and continued to walk off. So much for that. I started to walk to the rec. room towards the misc area, but she saw a guy at the chess table. "Um hi, I'm Nevermore." I said politely and he looked up and smiled, he had blonde hair, a top hat, and a overbite.

"Oh um hello." He answered, he sounded like he's from a high society family with manners.

"What are you doing?" I asked going over to the table.

"Oh my friend and I always play chess at recreation time, he hasn't showed up though."

"Can I play? I promise I know how to play." I smiled hoping he'd say yes, 'cause Joker won't talk to any one, and I don't want Ivy to flirt with me.

"Alright, take a seat. By the way my name is Jervis." He smiled back, and I sat down at the seat across from him. "How come you are not around Ivy?"

"She makes me feel uncomfortable." I replied, moving a pawn two squares forward.

"How so?" He moved a pawn up once.

"She flirts with me." I said, deadpan. I moved up another pawn once.

"I see..." He muttered, moving up a knight.

About ten minutes pass..."Checkmate!" I said in triumph.

"How did you?"

"Do not underestimate a girl." I said smiling, but then heard screaming and laughing. I went over to the crowd with Jervis following. Joker was in a headlock. The guy that had joker in a headlock was buff and scaly, joker kept laughing and laughing.

The inmates started to yell at the two, "Slam 'em on the ground!"

"Make him bleed!"

"Knock him into next week!"

I stared at the two and so did Jervis, joker stopped laughing and stared at me. He stared at me for a while, the grabbed the scaly hand that was around his neck, then twisted it. He strained, but finally the crocodile man let go. Joker kicked his stomach and he went back flying, a small chuckle came from joker's throat as he regained his breath. He walked over to me and smiled happily, it was a fake smile, "Hi."

"Hey, what was that about?" I asked, there was a red hand print on his neck.

"Oh nothing, just Crocs got mad at me making fun of him." He answered. He's not smiling as much as usual.

"About what?" I asked, hey where's Jervis?

"I said his scales aren't shiny enough." He said nervously, he can tell I know he's not happy. So I grabbed him and pulled him outside. "What is it?" He snapped, I've never seen him yell at me like this before.

"Why are you acting that way?" I asked glaring at him, still afraid.

"What way?"

"You are snapping at everyone, you aren't smiling like usual, and you ar-mmph!" He put his hand against my mouth and had a look on his face that looked, gentle...

"I'm sorry..." He said, his eyes half closed, and his forehead was pressed against mine. "I've just been missing my ex lately..."

"You don't seem like a guy to do that." I said, looking into his emerald green eyes.

"I am though, it was like she loved me. I didn't take her seriously and I abused her..." He muttered, looking down at his feet, "I kicked her out a lot, but she kept coming back, until a night after a big heist gone wrong. We started to argue, and every night for about two months we fought..."

"..." I stayed quiet, he is telling me a lot.

"You remind me a lot about her..."

"..."

"I would never let her leave me, so she committed suicide..." He whispered looking at me, he looks so alone. Ivy told me about him manipulating people, but he looks like its true.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, starting to get emotional about him.

"It's ok, but the guys have been teasing me about...her." He said, practically growling when he said her. I can tell he's angry, very, very angry.

"Try to take your mind off of her?" I suggested, I just want to help.

"Like doing what?

"Maybe climb that big oak tree?" I smiled, he smiled back and nodded, then I started to go towards the tree, then I look back to see him right next to me.

"Hey..." He said, he is a lot cuter up close. He looked like he was about my age, even though he is a foot taller than me. He had the front right side of his hair was long and covered over his eye, and all the other parts of his hair was short. He was fairly muscular, and his prison jumpsuit showed off a little bit of his abs. I slightly tensed up feeling how close he was to me, he has pale white skin and deep purple eyes. His scars had a bright red lipstick over it, he hung over me and smiled lightly.

"Hey, have you ever climbed a tree before?" I asked.

He gave me a look and chuckled, "Even though we are in the large city of Gotham, I have climbed one."

"Okay, we'll see if you can climb up there." I stated, a smug look on my face. He struggled a little ten sat down a large branch, then he patted a space next to him for me to sit. I got up and sat next to him, he smiled lightly, maybe we can just sit here for a while.


End file.
